Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Snakes on a Plane

And No, It Doesn't Say Bad M*erF*er

For the record, I hate snakes, and have this phobia of snakes. I can even freeze in my tracks at a bloody picture. And it goes without saying that the Snake House is never a place I'll visit in any zoo. What's my fear about? I don't know, just that I attach this sense of evilness and danger to these slimy (yes I know they're not) slithery creatures that should be condemned to the depths of hell.

Anyway I digress. What compelled me to watch this picture, besides the fact that I'm a sucker for punishment, is Samuel L Jackson. He's THE man! With Sam, you'll always know he'll lift that scene or two, oozing street charisma and attitude like none other. If you think you're in a shithouse, with Sam in the house, you ain't see no shit yet bro, know wha I'm sayin? And when he kicks into mo-fo attitude gear, you know you're in for some serious slaying!

This is a cheesy movie done in a cheesy way but with A list production values, tons of special effects, animal trainers, and yes, plenty of snakes of all shapes and sizes. From pythons to the cobras to the rattlers, I tell you these creatures will chill you at your seats. Thank goodness this ain't on no IMAX or 3D effect, otherwise I suspect many will be reeling their heads backwards, and backwards some more.

The plot's none too cerebral to begin with, so don't bother but accept, go on board, and enjoy the fright, I mean flight. It isn't going all out to scare you, though watching characterless caricatures suffer and die under the most sickening conditions involving all conceivable snake-accessible orifices and sexual appendages, provides some sort of sick pleasure. The usual cliches of thrillers/horrors are milked here as well, like the well used one that those who have sex are usually the first to go.

And there are plenty of victims from where that came from, given the movie's set on a red eye flight in a Boeing jet, offering a variety of passengers like the rap star and his posse, kids travelling alone for the first time, dumb blondes, the asian Kung Fu master, and even the cabin crew, who are put in a better light as compared to another set-on-a-plane movie Flightplan.

If there should be a gripe, then it's the length of the action sequences, most of which are just too short, or unexplained, especially those involving Jackson. I mean, the audience should see how he goes around killing those SOBs, but as mentioned, we don't get to see much. I suspect some scenes will probably end up in an extended DVD version, deleted scenes, or perhaps make their way into video games, fighting his way through with makeshift weapons.

That aside, and if you're ok with the censored bit in this NC-16 movie where a couple joins the mile high club (too bad it's forcibly shortened), Snakes on a Plane is a movie to catch on the big screen for the fun factor, and no, you'll definitely not get to watch this on any inflight entertainment system anytime soon.

The Cobra Starship music video for the movie plays through the end credits. Not too bad a song, think it's becoming a ear worm for me.

No comments:

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...