Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Nacho Libre

Hear My War Cry: NACHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo............

In the day, I'm a lowly friar condemned to the impoverished monastery kitchen to serve up gruel for my beloved orphans, or otherwise being assigned to perform uninteresting churchy things. At night, I'm Nacho Libre, moonlighting masked Luchador (mexican wrestler), cannon fodder in the amateur wrestling ring!

Jack Black plays me, Ignacio, and he looks the part too, after undergoing the pain of ripping off his chest hair to look like a mean wrestler (see the confessionals, available online at the official website). Alas, the sport is frowned upon by my religion, and it's a Sin to compete in this violent sport where the motivation is fueled by greed for money, women and fame.

You see, I'm smitten with my sister in God, Sister Encarnación, who's here on attachment, whom I think looks like Wynonna Rider and Penelope Cruz combined. Her eyes can speak wonders... oops, I think I've crossed the line into lust, and cannot break my vow of celibacy (unless she breaks hers too, then we can elope! Oops, forgive me dear Lord for the lecherous thought). But I honour and respect her, going as far to only eating bread in her quarters, though I want her to know how strong I am, with the muscles developed hidden underneath my modest friar robes. But my wrestling tights is a sight to behold, with cool stretchy pants I designed since I was little.

It's not easy being a wrestler, and I hope you find my antics funny. It's not laugh-a-minute, as there's a message in my madness - that we should do things for the greater good of mankind, rather than for our own selfish desires. Some have compared the technique and style here to old Hong Kong comedies from Stephen Chow, yes, there are moments where the dialogue might be contrived in attempts to bring in the laughs, but if you think about it, they're witty in their own right. The wrestling moves are nothing different from what's available at WWE, but you know, it's me in the ring and I occasionally do truly funny stuff like wedgies.

I'm not alone in the movie, in case you're wondering. I team up with a man of science called Esqueleto, and that's probably why we're not performing well, since he's so skinny and lacks faith. But he's my best friend in my moonlighting career. I have a favourite orphan too, a fellow fuddly duddly boy called Chancho. He's my inspiration, a beacon and reminder of the kids I want to make lives better for. And guess what, I sing! The singing wrestling friar, how's that!

In any case, it's not a bad movie, with a little something for everyone. It's an underdog making it good, rags to riches type of story. Pardon me for my excessive farts though, sometimes I can't control my low browed toilet humour.


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