Friday, November 03, 2006


My Heart's Pumping Already!

Just so you know, I'm a fan of Jason Statham, but before you jump to conclusions that I'm gonna give a positive spin on Crank because I'm a fan boy, do note that if you cannot stand mindless action movies, if you're not a Statham fan, flowery vulgarities are not your cup of tea, and MTV styled quick cuts give you headaches, then forget it, Crank is not for you.

Otherwise, you're in for an adrenaline pumping ride. And what a ride it is. While Statham has been in a variety of movies, sometimes in bit roles (Collateral), or sharing the limelight (The Italian Job remake), or playing villainous characters (like Cellular), he does prove at times that he could carry off his own vehicle (pardon the pun) in films like the Transporter series. You may quibble about his acting, or the movies he starred in don't allow any range to be seen, but hey, this dude's got presence. And in action movies, that's what matters. Can he be to this decade what Stallone-Van Damme-Schwarzeneggar have been to theirs?

Statham stars as Chev Chelios, an unsavoury character, a professional hitman finding himself in deep, deep trouble. As always, the bad guys like monologues, and slow deaths, hence right at the start he's injected with a synthetic drug known as the Beijing Cocktail. To survive, he must keep his adrenaline flowing and heart rate high. Relaxing and taking five, will be lethal. So begins a riotous run around town, staying alive with every conceivable adrenaline pumping ideas based on sex, drugs and even rock and roll, in his desperate quest to fish out his perpetrators and exact his brand of violent justice.

It's extremely non politically correct, and the dialogue, well, you'll either love it, or loathe it. And directors Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor really loaded this movie with plenty of smart alecky effects and quirky edits, you'll need some time to adjust to the style imposed. Don't go looking for a very smart storyline with award winning acting, because you won't find any, given the very blatant loopholes in certain scenes, plunging plausibility right down the drain. But who cares, so long as the action's great and the pace just never letting up. Best part is that given the local rating, nothing's being censored, so you can see every gory scene (some reminiscent of Hostel, Saw, and the likes), witness sexploitative characters, and hear every swear word in its full glory.

And another plus points for the male audience, Amy Smart stars in a decorative role as Eve, Chev's main squeeze, who doesn't show up until close to the hour's mark in a less than 90 minute movie. The character's here plainly to serve up and fulfill deep dark sexual desires. Heck, I'd bet most in the audience were crossing their fingers for some major wardrobe malfunction!

Strictly for the fans, and hell yeah, it's one heck of a ride! And stay tuned until the end of the credits too! Can't wait for his new movie Rogue where he goes up against Jet Li!

Me Against The Odds

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