Sunday, August 19, 2007


Queer Straight Guy

I'll have to admit that Poltergay is a lot of fun, for straight folks and gay folks alike. It's probably something that Kelvin Tong's Men in White could have been - smart, witty and with that level of cheekiness, without almost always falling flat on its jokes. If it could have been at least what Poltergay was, then it won't have to suffer the misery of a relatively poor box office, or DVDs that I think most people would stand around the shops to watch for free, rather than to purchase a copy for personal consumption.

The plot for Poltergay is a no brainer. Married couple Marc (Clovis Cornillac) and Emma (Julie Depardieu) move into an old dilapidated house at a bargain price. While slowly converting it to livable conditions, it turns out that Marc begins to hear things (extremely loud music at 0155hrs each time), before suddenly realizing there're 5 queer men living in his cellar. However, it seems that he's the only one who can see these fellas, and before you know it, he's branded mad, and runs into martial troubles because, well, it's a gay themed movie, so naturally, everyone around thinks that Marc is a closet gay, secretly fantasizing about men, and 5 of them no less!

What I liked about the movie is how it incorporated the gay moments into the story and the jokes quite seemlessly, and introduced perhaps in an extremely novel way, the rationale behind ghost-spotting. It certainly took the mickey out of a lot of things, and brought out some laughter in subtle, razor sharp manner. However it is not without its flaws, as the introduction was a tad too draggy, and I thought took about an hour before the pace and the comedy picks up, and suddenly, there was a big squeeze of plenty of smaller subplots into the last 30 minutes, including the resolution and finale. Essentially it boiled down to screwing up, wrecking havoc, before the ghouls decided to help Marc get back to this normal life again.

And the ghouls were pretty hilarious in themselves, with their penchant for tight clothing, and their disco dancing ways to Boney M's Rasputin for instance, injecting a certain amount of retro disco energy when they get down to boogeying the night away. Their individual characters could not be any different from one another, with for instance, a closet heterosexual (oh!), a gay couple, one nursing a broken heart, and one who likes to replicate his male manhood at almost every conceivable object he can get his hands on.

It didn't have to rely on crude toilet humour, nor plenty of slapstick moments to bring on the laughs. What it had was a refreshing take on the horror-comedy genre, with a twist of the queer for good measure. Like I mentioned, it's enjoyable fluff, good enough for those stressed out workdays where you need some light hearted relief to keep your sanity.

Oh, and Rasputin is certainly becoming one heck of a earworm!

Rasputin by Boney M
There lived a certain man in Russia long ago
He was big and strong, in his eyes a flaming glow
Most people looked at him with terror and with fear
But to Moscow chicks he was such a lovely dear
He could preach the bible like a preacher
Full of ecstacy and fire
But he also was the kind of teacher
Women would desire

Lover of the Russian queen
There was a cat that really was gone
Russia's greatest love machine
It was a shame how he carried on

He ruled the Russian land and never mind the czar
But the kasachok he danced really wunderbar
In all affairs of state he was the man to please
But he was real great when he had a girl to squeeze
For the queen he was no wheeler dealer
Though she'd heard the things he'd done
She believed he was a holy healer
Who would heal her son
But when his drinking and lusting and his hunger
for power became known to more and more people,
the demands to do something about this outrageous
man became louder and louder.

"This man's just got to go!" declared his enemies
But the ladies begged "Don't you try to do it, please"
No doubt this Rasputin had lots of hidden charms
Though he was a brute they just fell into his arms
Then one night some men of higher standing
Set a trap, they're not to blame
"Come to visit us" they kept demanding
And he really came

Lover of the Russian queen
They put some poison into his wine
Russia's greatest love machine
He drank it all and he said "I feel fine"

Lover of the Russian queen
They didn't quit, they wanted his head
Russia's greatest love machine
And so they shot him till he was dead

(Spoken:) Oh, those Russians...

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