Full Frontal

Originally Posted On: 20th Jan 2003

2 words: It SUCKS!

Ok, so sue me, perhaps i don't know how to appreciate this film, so if you do, write a comment will ya?

So what's so NC-16 about Full Frontal?
1. There's this ONE blurred out humpin scene
2. David Duchovy's less than 10 minute screentime with only a sheet / towel covering his hugely erected dick. And I mean HUGE (maybe fake, but who cares?)
3. Him asking for a handjob, and boasting he can cum in 30 seconds (actually 40 seconds, so says the narrative)
4. Him dying in his bed with one hand on his willy and a plastic bag over his head, probably some masochistic self-gratification which we don't see

This movie starts off as a movie within a movie, called Rendezvous. For the next 1/2 hour, you're left wondering WTF is this movie all about.

Simple. Basically just telling you stories behind those characters leading up to their attending a director's (Gus, played by Duchonvy, less than 10 mins screen time mind you) birthday party.

Characters include a black actor (Blair Underwood), a white actress (Julia Roberts), a HR vice president of some company, her sister who's going to meet some guy whom she knew from IRC, that guy from the IRC who didn't really tell her frankly who he was (some art director rather than a painter), a stage actor, and many others you probably won't give a shit about.

However, the only saving grace was David Fincher and Brad Pitt playing themselves. Watch out for Fincher's spoof of his own directing style (the endless reshoots of even simple scenes involving only 1 spoken line).

Although the movie is draggy, stay on during the end credits where you get to see some contrived behind the scenes shots, as well as a Brad Pitt "Easter Egg" scene right at the end.

That is if you still have the patience to torture yourself through it all. A lot of people in my screening left halfway through the show, and those who forced themselves to sit through the ending because they paid $8.50 darted out of the theatre once the credits start rolling.

Don't watch, unless you really think you can pretend to understand the show.